When Everything Clicks...

I had one of those exercise moments today...it's been a long time coming, let me tell ya. I had the moment today where I actually felt GOOD on my 5 mile run. As a personal trainer with a high level of fitness you'd think that I would feel that way all the time. Not so. My life is usually so hectic, full of soccer games and practices for the kids and school obligations and responsibilities in the home, that I rarely feel optimal when I exercise. I do it most of the time because when I am not working as a personal trainer I know that I need to get my 45 minutes in...so I forget to enjoy it...which is such a shame.

For me, exercising is an utter privilege and to be honest I should approach it with joy every time I put on a pair of running shoes. It was only seven years ago that I was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive type of ovarian cancer. At the age of 35. In the prime of my life. At that time it was unclear whether I would live to ever feel well again...let alone go on to be a personal trainer and a person committed to inspiring others to seek a healthy lifestyle. So I am humbled by my good fortune...while I had an aggressive type of cancer I was just plain lucky to have found the cancer early enough to have a shot at living well again.

I spent most of the early years after surviving cancer in a frenzy to make my body whole again. I almost beat my body up. I had a theory that if I could push myself hard then somehow I could magically prevent the cancer from returning. This was obviously skewed thinking but I always felt empowered heading into the oncologist after running a marathon or a half marathon the day before. I reasoned that running 26 miles would somehow prove my wellness. No person could run 26 miles and have cancer, correct? Well, unfortunately this was all just magical thinking and in the process of working my body into the ground I became less aware of the sheer gift of simply being able to move my body each day!

My attempt to steel my body against further disease finally hit a major road block last winter when my spirit revolted and sent me into a difficult depression. That is the thing about bodies...there is a balance we must seek. Yes, it is important to exercise every day but there is also something to be said about going too far. I pushed too hard and finally something had to give. My subsequent depression was a painful reminder that I needed to get back to the basics...to seek balance of body, mind and spirit.

So I took a break and slowly got back to what I love to do: which is spreading the good word about health and wellness in my community. This has meant working hard to not over do my own exercise on a day-to-day basis, seeking outlets to nourish my soul, and eating well as much as possible. It has also meant attempting to balance all the demands in my life. Some days I struggle but other days I feel like I am forging ahead and perhaps I will eventually get it right.

Today was one of those days where all the stars aligned. It was a perfect Seattle morning -- 48 degrees and pouring rain. You gotta love Seattle! I had obviously done a good job of eating the previous day, being careful to hydrate and consume the right amount of protein and carbs. Interestingly enough my previous plans had to be canceled because I had to have work done on my car. So I was free of obligations that really were not that truly important anyway. And I headed out on a five mile run with a clear head and a strong body. And that one hour run reminded me of what I initially felt after surviving cancer...just pure joy. Joy for life. Joy for air. Joy for rain. Joy for clouds. Joy for cold. Joy for sweat. Joy for deep breathing. Joy for the complexities of the human body. How unexpected this little gift was this morning! Once again I am humbled by my good fortune.

So, when you have those moments where all the stars align and you feel as fierce as a warrior when you are exercising, consider what led up to that positive moment. What did you eat the day before? Did you get a solid 8 hours of sleep? Were you rested? Free from a hectic schedule? What conditions led to that moment? These are the conditions that we should try to re-create on a daily basis so that each of us is able to find some joy in our exercise routine. Yes, joy...you should all feel joy in relation to your exercise routine because it is in that realization that you will continue to pursue a healthy lifestyle.